Career vs Family

I think I’ve finally decided what I want.

I have been deliberating on my next career move for the longest time.  I graduated with a degree in Engineering, and started my first job in the civil service.  Disappointed that the career progression is very slow in the civil sector, not enough to satisfy my ambition to want to achieve more, I went on to the financial services sector, and later on, the asset management industry.  I am grateful to my current company for the myriad of experiences over these 4 years.  Yes, time flies and I have already been with this company for more than 4 years.  But things haven’t been looking very good here since the global financial crisis, and with the ttc-ing of Baby #2, I have long been wanting to leave, but cannot leave.  At the same time, at 30, I’d also better jump to a firm/ industry that I really want to be in.  But, what do I really want?

I thought about this during the year end performance review last year.  No conclusions. I constantly think about this question for the past 4 months this year.  Hmm… Still thinking…. What do I really want?

When I quitted my first job barely half a year into the job, it was with full of aspirations to want to achieve more.  6 years on, and sad to say, that burning flame is long gone. I still desire a career that can get me excited, have me passionate about.  But reality versus dreams, many a times you really don’t do what you like as a job.

And now with Baby1, looking at my precious, adorable baby, I wonder how will she grow up to be like?  Will she be obedient and smart, or will she be ruddy and mediocre?  For me, being exposed to loads of lessons or skills at the expense of quality bonding between our family – this I will not pursue.  I really just want my child to grow up in a happy environment, and that we are able to shower her with lots of our attention and love.

With this, I made my decision.  I will seek a job that is so-so.  No hours after the usual working hours.  As simple as that.  I want to be able to knock off on time everyday, and preferably be able to reach home before the sun sets so that I can spend some time with my child(ren) everyday.  Look at the typical career-mum.  How much time does she have for her kids during weekdays?  No wonder their kids prefer the maid to mummy, cos mummy is only home 2 days a week on weekends.

Yes, this is just what I want.  For now.

Any lobang anyone?

- Dear2