Sick and Mad

The weather is crazy and it’s making me mad as well.

I woke up in the morning feeling sick.  Have a cough the past few 2 weeks, and still constantly feeling itchy in the throat.  Cannot cough, cos cough also no phelgm, but it’s stuffy in the chest.  And cannot cough, cos it irks me to think of all the germs that Baby1 share with me in the confined air-con room.  But the weather has been terrible the past 2 days, cannot tahan and I have to give in to air-con at night.  For my sanity, and for her good sleep.

And worse, now I have a cold sore on the lips.  Have to keep an arms length away from baby lest she touches the blister.  A quick google says got cold sore because my immunity is low after a flu.  Best.  And I have finished 1 whole course of anti-biotics.  I ate home cooked meals these 2 days, still weak?  What must I do?

And while I was sipping my milo, Dear1 told me something out of the blue.  Cannot remember what he said liao.  I just kept quiet.  Can’t he tell that I am not well?  And don’t he remember that I said before, don’t tell me stupid things early in the morning?  Whatever he said this morning, it was definitely not important, hence stupid.

Then before I could sms my covering colleague, she sms me saying she’s having her usual Monday syndrome.  Then how?  I smsed her, and then Baby1 fell off the bed.  It was my fault for letting her climb.  But she fell lightly, and forgot about it in 30s when I sayang her.  But Dear1 demanded an explanation and account of the fall.  I blew my top.  Yes, I am unresonable, so just leave me alone.

I am sick.  I hate being sick.  Baby1 just recovered from her cough.  That was a terrible week for her.  No appetite, feel so unwell.  Pains my heart.  Finally recovered to her usual bubbly self.  And the last thing I want is to spread my cough to her.  But what to do?  I still don’t get well.  Eat vitamin c everyday, eat vege, drink lots of barley.  Then this crazy weather now.

And I am fat.  And feels faint when I get hungry.  And my period is crazy, haywire.  Is there something wrong with my body?  I am worried, so I see doctor when I still don’t get well, and I am going to the gynae tomorrow.

But Dear1 is only disappointed that he didn’t get to experience the atmosphere at the Worker’s Party rally, that there’s this and that new board game and how exciting his last play was, that his friends are going on a spontaneous holiday.  And what was he telling me this morning that was stupid?

I am sick.  Plain sick.  So just leave me alone if you don’t care.

– Dear2


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