I am still in search of myself, and when I came across a parenting book that says, “a parent is a role model who inculcates her values to her kids”, I am stumped – what are my values?
I had not prepared myself as a SAHM. It sure looked easy – stay home and look after the kids. But 3 months on, I am still asking myself, what value add have I added to the family?
I heave a big sigh of relief now that Baby1’s pencil-holding grip is finally corrected. Dear1 and I had observed this some years back, and we thought that she’ll correct herself along the way. But when she still holds the pencil awkwardly 2 months before starting Primary School, I had to rectify this problem lest it becomes a perpetual habit.
Baby1 and Baby2 are much happier now too. Both of them get to spend one-on-one time with me every day now when the other sibling is in school, and sulks when the sibling is dismissed from school. A good problem, one that I should pay attention to.
Dear1 is happier too, now that he does not have to listen to my daily wimps of “which hawker centre to eat for dinner tonight?”.
Despite these improvements, there has been numerous emotional and mental downs while I try to become the super SAHM that I think others are. Chinese New Year is just next weekend, but I still cannot bring myself to set my 2017 New Year Resolutions. *groan*
So I thought, instead of doing up a grand master plan, maybe I’ll start with something small first. So, let’s start with Values.
For one, Dear1 and I try to advocate “no processed foods”. This seems to be going down pretty well with Baby1 and Baby2, when every time I cook sausages or fishballs, they’ll chant to me the numerous occasions when the grannies cooked these. It is pretty easy to steer clear of these – just don’t buy them. But for chips and fast food and ice creams, Dear1 and I have to constantly remind ourselves that “once in a while” must really mean “once in a while” and not every other day/ week/ month. We want our girls to grow up eating healthy, so these food habits really must start young.
For the second, I must really stop thinking that food courts or restaurants are alternative foods. How often have I complained that food courts are “so oily, so fried, so not nice, yet not cheap”! And restaurants are “so salty, so noisy, stinks the clothes, and so not cheap”! Food courts and restaurants are really so not value for money. (I think the concept of value of money has been practiced by Dear1 and myself all the while, so Baby1 and Baby2 should be pretty used to this concept?) Conversely, hawker centres are yummy and value for money! And of course, home-cooked are the best in value-for-nutrition.
Talking about queues, Singaporeans soooo like to queue! “If you see a queue, it’s probably nice!” But not us – Dear1 and I don’t quite subscribe to this. Long queue may mean inefficiencies, not necessarily equate to food yummi-ness. So one of my indicator of nice food is to do a visual sweep of what others are eating, heehee!
Dear1 and I are quite contrarians – we don’t chase after the latest trends like what most people do. Take for instance Food Panda and Deliveroo and all the food deliveries aps out there. It’s so convenient – branded foods are just a call away. But food is meant to be enjoyed, so what’s the point of having a spread of cold, soggy, too soft or too hard branded food in front of me?
Values. I think I need to appreciate myself more. Improvements will probably not happen in leaps and bounds for me from a FTWM to a SAHM, because I may really had been doing a pretty good job juggling work and family then. Our financial circumstances have changed, but since I was already pretty frugal from young, these values have not changed; perhaps only more stringent now.
I need to trust myself more. Or perhaps don’t fret or worry too much. If there’s a problem, use my brainy thinking hat and think out a solution, and resolve the issue, TA-DA! Or if my tweeny brain is stuck, I can seek for inspirations from my loving Dear1 who is always there to support me.